benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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