I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
