I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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