But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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