so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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