I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
