in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
