I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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