Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
