It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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