halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
