in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
