Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
