I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize