Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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