Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
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I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
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Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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