if only i could text you this smell
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
