I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
two words...techno handjob
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
