I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
