I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
