Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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