I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
