these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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