He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
