i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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