why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
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So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
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I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
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