it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
