My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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