I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
