I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
