ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You are the jesus of drinking
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
