your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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