Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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