we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
