Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
