I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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