Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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