Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
