I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
