when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
