Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
