he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
