who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
