Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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