butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
