I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
