Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
