just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
