If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
