haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
