im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
