Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
