He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
