Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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