I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
