So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
