What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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