How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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