defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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