i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
His nipple licking is glorious
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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