Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
