Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize