So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
