i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
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while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
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Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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