did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
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