they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
