dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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