Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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