So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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