he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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