i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
